May I Please Have This Dance?
by Captain Jezebel
Summary: Emmett helps a confused young man embrace his true self, he in turn helps Emmett embrace love again, but will love be enough to keep Paul's fears at bay? written for Naelany's birthday, A/H slash, M for leMon,
1. May I Please Have This Dance

_**A/N: **__I don't write often, and I don't write well __(Note from Jen: bullshit - but see for yourself after reading this)__, but I was asked to don my author hat for a spell to give the gift of word to sweet __Nae__ and maybe give her an awesome b-day._

_I forewarn this one-shot contains many a curse, but __Nae __will tell ya, my mouth is quite worse. I'll also warn this is a tale of boy loves boy, something you may not really enjoy._

_If this is the case, please be on your way - no harm, no foul, and have a nice day. Of course a disclaimer I must make. Stephenie Meyer is the pro, and I am the fake._

_The familiar things, she owns them all, the rest is mine, and I had a ball, writing this piece only to say, I love you, sweet __Nae__, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!_

_SorceressCirce __cleaned up my mess, made it more pretty, I must confess. She wielded her beta pen with grace and style, to help me surely make __Naelany __smile_

* * *

Everything was perfect; the décor, the ceremony, the music, and of course the beautiful, loving couple moving across the floor enjoying their first dance. Everything was right; their frames were locked along with their eyes, and they floated together as if on an unseen cloud of happiness.

As I watched them, I could not help but be so overjoyed for my friends. Love emanated from every single cell of their bodies, surrounding them in an aura of pure light. No one in the room was immune to the glow. The first smile in over a month made its way across my face, and soon I was all-out laughing, enjoying the moment.

When Messrs. Whitlock-Masen kissed each other at the end of the dance with a look of pure adoration on their faces, it was easy to forget my heartache. Easy to allow myself to just be here for my two best friends on their wedding day. I was willing to push my pain aside to be the fun- loving guy they have always known me to be. For Edward and Jasper, I would be the best Best Man ever.

The night continued under the banner of bliss with everything going exactly the way it should. My speech got a lot of laughs and even some tears. I got to dance with the grooms, as well as my partner and some of the other guests. It seems a ballroom instructor's dance card is never empty. The cake cutting was sweet, watching Ed and Jazz each spin his husband in a full turn before gently feeding each other the cake.

_Showoffs._

Back at the table, I took a break from the festivities and, if I was being honest with myself, I was letting the sadness catch up with me for the first time that night when I heard a gasp from across the table. A warm hand touched my shoulder, and I looked up at Rose to see shock and anger on her face.

I knew.

Fear rooted me in my seat; it would not allow me to turn around. I felt the warmth from his hand growing, traveling every nerve ending along my arm down to my tingling fingers. His thumb gently drifted across the nape of my neck.

I closed my eyes. I knew.

The heat from his touch continued along my neck and across my chest, encroaching on my shattered heart. For a moment it lay still, afraid to move, but the warmth endured, and it began to beat so fast I thought it would leave my body.

"Shit!"

I peeked to my right to see the expletive leave Ed's mouth. I knew _he _was here, and he was standing right behind me.

"Emmett, please?" his voice rasped, and I winced. It had been six weeks since I had last heard that voice, a voice I knew in my sleep. I can still remember the first time I ever heard it clear as day.

* * *

_**Ten months earlier:**_

"What time is their lesson?" She stood in classic impatient Rose stance, hands on hips, lips pursed, eyes rolling, annoyance dripping from every word. "This is what happens when I let you book the clients."

A laugh escaped the lips I was trying so desperately to keep together. I couldn't help it - I always found her irritation to be hilarious. She took things so seriously that I had to do my best to remind her that we were living our dream. This was supposed to be fun, getting paid to do something we loved.

"They should be here any minute. The bride sounded really excited when she booked us. I think this is going to be a blast. You know …_fun. _You should try it sometime."

She smiled and rolled her eyes at me once more for good measure. I was glad I was still the one that could bring that smile out, considering the times I had made her cry. Making a big show of looking at her watch, she sighed dramatically.

"Well it's ten past already. Don't they believe in being on time? Or are we on their sche..."

"Fuck! Alright, drop it! I'm fucking _here_, right? Let's do this fruity shit!"

Her epic rant was interrupted - rather rudely, I might add - by the loud, angry man making his way through the studio door behind his very embarrassed-looking fiancee. Rose gave me a look that said so many things - "_I told you so." "Is this fucker for real?" "Did he just call ballroom… fruity?" _But most of all it said, "_You're never booking the clients again." _

I shrugged and used my dimpled grin to my advantage. I knew she could never resist the dimples. She shook her head, then focused on the advancing couple, preparing to welcome them to our studio.

Before she could get the words out of her mouth, the rude angry dude started flapping his gums again, asking questions. It took me a second to realize his questions were directed at me.

"Wha…?" I asked, dumbstruck.

"I asked if your little woman is forcing these frou-frou dance lessons on you, too? Don't know why they want us to do this silly shit, but whatever keeps them happy, right? Don't need a chick turning into a nag before you even marry her. Got yourself a hottie there, wouldn't want to make her mad either…smart man. So where is this teacher? I bet it's some old bird or a knob jockey."

I thought Rosalie's head just might explode from the fury she was holding back. While I found angry dude's comments regarding women, ballroom, and gays offensive, I totally understood him confusing me for a student. It was a reaction I had gotten many times before. I didn't exactly have the body type of a typical ballroom dancer; where most had lean muscles, mine were quite bulging. My height and hulking figure screamed football star, not dancer.

I casually stepped into Rosie's path, grabbed her arm, and spun her with a flourish before she could do serious damage to our new student. When I was sure I had a good grip on my she- devil, I held my hand out to start introductions with Mr. Bigot and Ms. Mortified.

"I'm Emmett McCarty; this is my business and dance partner, Rosalie Hale. Welcome to our studio."

To say that he was a bit surprised was an understatement; his jaw flapped open and then closed repeatedly before his fiancee nudged him in the ribs, gesturing toward my outstretched hand. He grabbed it and gave a firm handshake before remembering his manners.

"Oh...uh...yeah, sorry about that. Paul Uley, and this beautiful lady is my future bride, Rachel Black."  
At least he had the decency to look ashamed of his earlier comments, but my Rosie rarely showed mercy, and this guy just made the top of her shit list.

_Poor sucker, I know what that's like._

We began their lesson with the basics - posture and positions. While Rachel seemed to find her groove easily, Paul did not. He was struggling with the position of his hips and pelvis. It was all wrong, and Rose kept calling him on it. Soon their annoyance with each other was clearly evident on their faces. I realized a tad too late that their conflicting temperaments did not make for a peaceful learning environment when I heard her frustrated screech.

"NOOOOO! For the twentieth time, you are tucking too far under." She looked at me, eyes ablaze, and then he went off.

"I have no clue what the _fuck _you want from me, lady! My hips are in the exact same position you put 'em in."

Rachel tried to step in, but that just set him off even more. We were treated to his tirade about this 'twinkle toes bullshit', and how he didn't want to do it. I needed to intervene before Rosie ripped his tongue out of his mouth and shoved it up his ass.

"Alright, how about this…I take Paul and work with him solo in the other room, while you work with Rachel?" I raised my brow and looked around to see if everyone was agreeable. I seemed like a good idea, but I couldn't help but notice the look on Rosie's face.

"Em, can I talk to you for a sec?" She didn't even wait for me to nod before pulling me out of earshot from our students. "You sure about this? I mean, that guy...he's an asshole, and a bigot, and homophobic. Did I mention he's an asshole? And..."

"Thank you, for being my little pitbull," I cut in. "I don't mind him; he's all bark and no bite. Besides, I know how to defend myself, being a big boy and all."

She giggled, and I winked before I made my way back to the waiting couple and then escorted Paul to the adjacent studio. Things went a lot smoother after that, but I kept catching this weird look in Paul's eyes every time I grabbed his hips to place them back in position. I was used to it when a male student's spine stiffened. Most men got a little nervous about the whole 'another guy is touching me' thing, but I had never seen such a strange look in all my years of teaching. I just brushed it off and continued doing what I do best, and by the end of the lesson, Paul's posture needed to be corrected only four times.

Our lessons with Paul and Rachel continued in much the same manner. We would start out together, Paul and Rosalie would get on each other's nerves, and then we would split up and things would go smoothly. At the end of the lesson, Paul and Rachel would come together and show off what they learned. Wash, rinse, repeat, twice a week.

It was during my solo lessons with Paul that things continued to get strange. The weird look was always there when I corrected the posture of his hips, pelvis, and torso. When we began practicing dance positions, I found it odd that he would begin to sweat profusely and stutter when he had to hold my hand. It was almost like he was nervous about something.

By the eighth lesson, things settled down between Rosalie and Paul so the majority of our time was spent all together. After all, the point of the lessons were for him to dance _with_ his bride. Once again I was confused by the look on Paul's face when he discovered we wouldn't be sharing solo lessons. I could have sworn he seemed….disappointed? I couldn't figure him out, and I was usually very good at reading people. Whatever this was, it was holding him back on the dance floor - he needed to let it go.

Vowing to help him, I studied him intently during our next lesson. Every time he caught my eyes on him, his eyes would quickly shift away. He wouldn't let me in. The lesson finished, they left, and only moments after the door closed, Rose started in on me as we cleaned up the studio for the night.

"Why do you give a shit if he gets it or not? It's his wedding, not yours. He obviously doesn't want to be doing this. He's only here to keep her happy, so why should you care if he doesn't?"

"How long have you known me, sweetness?"

She nodded because that was answer enough.

"I still say that guy isn't worth your time or effort anyway. Need I remind you that he's an asshole? I give that marriage a year before she figures out what a prick she married and bails."

"That's real fucked up, Rosie."

She just shrugged. "I only call it how I see it. You need to stop caring so much. You'll wear yourself out, and you need to have your wits about you for your date tomorrow."

"Fuck, I almost forgot about that," I muttered, my shoulders sagging. I knew she meant well, but this was the fifth blind date she had set up, and none of the guys were ever my type. If I didn't know how much she loved me, I would've thought she was doing this on purpose to get back at me for the past, but I knew she forgave me a long time ago. I sighed, "So what's his name?"

"His name is Mike, and he's gorgeous," she beamed.

The crash of what sounded like keys hitting the floor alerted us that we weren't alone. We turned to find Paul standing still, his face painted in a look of pure horror as he gestured to his keys that now lay on the floor as motionless as his body.

"Oh hey, Paul." I smiled. "Forgot your keys?"

He nodded before his eyes grew even wider, his face a mask of full fury. "He? His? Mike?" He had such hatred in his stare, like he wanted me dead. "YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT?"

Rose leapt for his throat, but I caught her around her waist before she could make contact. I held his gaze before calmly speaking.

"No, but I am a gay man. Is this going to be a problem?"

"HELL FUCKING YES! You touched me, held my hand! No wonder I was feeling... Holy Shit! Stay the FUCK away from me, FAG." He snatched his keys and sprinted for the door but not before Rosalie sent him on his way with some lovely parting words, making sure he knew he was not ever welcome back.

I stood there shell-shocked. I couldn't move, couldn't talk. Rose kept trying to soothe me, telling me he was just a bigot, but his hurtful words were not what held me in place. I shook my head to clear it; suddenly it all made sense. The strange look...it was fear, lust, confusion, and rage all mixed together. It was hard to recognize the look because I used to be the one wearing it. I didn't live my life looking in the mirror, but now my reflection was peering back at me through his eyes.

The clues were falling into place, and I recognized every one. The anger - he lashed out to release the pain of his secret; he was angry at himself for who he was. The guilt - he overcompensated with his fiancee by doing anything she wanted, even if it was something he did not care to do. The outrageous machismo - he had to prove he was a man by demeaning women or anything he considered 'gay'.

It all clicked. Paul was the Emmett of seven years ago. Everything I had gone through back then he was going through now. I didn't know his exact situation, but I knew it was pretty damned similar. Rose stood there with worry etched across her beautiful face as I stood silent in my discovery; finally, it was all too much for her.

"Emmet Dale McCarty, if you don't answer me in three seconds, so help me God, I will call Edward." That snapped me out of it; I didn't want Edward to get dragged into this just because he was a doc.

"He's gay," I whispered.

"Edward? Yeah I know," she blurted, confusion marring her features. "What's going on, Em? You're scaring me."

"No, Rosie, not Edward. Well yes, Edward, but I mean Paul. Paul is gay." My eyes fell on hers, and I saw the comprehension take over. She started to piece together the same puzzle I had just solved, and then her eyes focused on mine once more.

"Holy shit, the asshole is gay."

* * *

_**Seven months ago:**_

After I realized Paul was struggling with his sexual orientation, I wanted to help him because I had lived through almost the exact same circumstances myself. Unfortunately, he decided to take Rose at her word of never being welcome again. I tried to call the number listed in their file under client contact, but it had been disconnected. I looked him up; no Uleys listed.

I knew his wedding was this month, and I was desperate to get to him before he made the mistake that I almost made. New York is a big city; I doubted I would ever run into him. There was nothing I could do, short of hiring a private detective, but Rosie was hearing none of that.

One night she asked why I thought it was any of my business, and I reminded her that a sweet young lady named Rachel Black would end up paying the ultimate price for his confusion. It was a low blow, stirring up those feelings in her; I knew it would, but I needed her to understand. She backed off after that, leaving me to close up on my own.

I heard footsteps making their way across the main floor as I was wiping down the mirrors in the adjacent studio. I yelled out, "Rosie, my love, you come back to help me?" but it was a man that stood in my doorway, shivering from the frigid December air.

"Sorry, sir, but we're closed for the night. If you would like to come back in the morning or call to set up a lesson, I would gladly…"

"Emmett," the man whispered, his voice scratchy. "It's me, Paul." The timid man in front of me looked nothing like the Paul from just a few weeks ago. Just his very demeanor was in direct conflict with the one he displayed when we first met.

"Paul," I sighed. A feeling of relief settled over me that he was willing to seek me out. I knew why he was here. He had come to grips with who he is. He finally realized that he was only hurting himself and eventually Rachel if he kept hiding.

"I know you probably don't want to see me, but I-I r-r-really have n-no one," he stuttered out, before I realized just how hard he was trembling. I understood that it wasn't the chill in the air that was causing his tremors, but fear.

"Paul." I paused to wait for him to look up at me. "Please relax; I don't mind you being here."

"Rosalie?" His eyes darted everywhere, searching for her.

"The big bad witch isn't here, so no reason to worry." I smiled, hoping the joke would calm him down, and it seemed to work because a small smile broke across his face.

"C-can I t-talk to you?"

"Sure thing, let's go into my office so you can warm up. Then you can ask me anything you like." His eyebrow shot up, most likely to question how I knew he wanted to ask me something. "Let's just say I have walked way more than a mile in your shoes." He nodded at this as I directed him toward the office and went to lock up.

"So you know?" he mumbled as he took another sip of his tea.

"So I know what, Paul?"

"That I'm..." He paused, shoulders slumped, eyes to the floor, voice lowered to a mere whisper. "That I'm g-gay," he breathed.

"Yes."

I watched his face crumple in fear. "How did you know? Am I really obvious? What if Rachel..?"

I shook my head to make him stop and listen. "No, Paul, please calm down. No, you are not really obvious; believe me. It took me a while to figure it out, and I'm usually good at that sort of thing. I just wanted to hear you tell me yourself. Is that the first time you've ever told someone?"

He nodded. "It's the first time I've ever said it out loud." His eyes lowered to the floor.

It was going to be a long road to make him see that he didn't need to be ashamed that he was gay; but this was just the beginning, and I knew what the beginning felt like...despair. I had already decided to help him find his way out of what felt hopeless at the moment. In order for him to realize how well I understood, he had to know my history.

"Can I tell you a story?" I waited for him to acknowledge me, and when he gave a curt nod, I began. "It's the story about the time I stopped lying to myself and everyone I loved. When I stopped being afraid of the reactions of others and took the reins of my life back into my own hands. How I hurt one of the most wonderful people I will ever know in this world but saved her from a lifetime of suffering had I said nothing. This is the story of how I came out."

He looked at me, terror and empathy shining in his eyes.

"Rosalie," I said simply. The stunned look on his face made me chuckle. "Seven years ago, I was engaged to a beautiful, intelligent, kind, sexy as hell dancer by the name of Rosalie Hale. She and I had hit it off within minutes of meeting, like we were meant to know each other. I was still deep in the closet, lying to everyone, including myself.

"Two years of dating and dancing together. I was happy to keep things like that forever, but everyone was pushing for us to get married. Not wanting to disappoint my family, I went along with it and proposed. I was starting to realize I couldn't hide the real me any longer, and the thought that I even had to made me a very angry person.

"I lashed out, made macho comments, started fights...basically, I was an asshole. Rosalie knew something was wrong; she knew that wasn't the real me. She was willing to postpone the wedding because she was afraid I wasn't ready. She told me she would wait for me forever if she had to. I began to think about what would happen to this amazing woman if I married her and forced her to live my lie. I couldn't hurt her like that."

The tears started to form in my eyes as I remembered the night I told her.

"The worst moment of my entire life was telling her, seeing her beautiful face dissolve into a mask of pain, watching her fall to the ground and scream 'why' over and over." I shook my head to get rid of the images lodged there. Clearing my throat, I continued, "I ended up losing her in my life, along with a few family members and friends, when I officially came out."

I looked at Paul to see his head in his hands gripping his hair tightly. I had just scratched the surface of all his fears, and I knew it. "It's hopeless," he breathed.

"No, it isn't." He looked at me with incredulity in his eyes. "Ask me if I would do it all over again, and I'll answer yes in a heartbeat. Despite the losses, there were still so many that supported me, plus the weight I felt lifted from my soul was incredible. I chose to focus on the good instead of the bad and, believe me, there was so much good in finally living my life as _me_.

"Eventually Rosie forgave me. It took a couple of years, but we needed each other in some form, so we chose to remain friends. We love each other like family, support each other in everything we do, and protect each another like mama bears protect their cubs. I have friends that love me, I own and teach at my own studio, and I get to do it all as a free gay man. Life is what you make it. Start making yours."

I tilted my head and watched his expression as he took in my words. I hoped he would take that first step.

"I'm so scared." His voice was shaky.

"That, my friend, is normal. This is a big moment, and you have every human right to be afraid. But I wanted you to know that I will be here for you. I will be one of those friends that stick around. Okay?"

Paul nodded, a shy smile breaking across his face, and I knew in that moment that he wanted to start living life as himself.

* * *

_**Six months ago:**_

It was so bad. I felt like an idiot for advising Paul to tell Rachel, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Apparently Rachel flipped her wig ten times worse than Rosie and outed him to both hers and his family. His father, mother, and older brother Sam disowned him and wouldn't take his calls. Her family went apeshit and wanted to sue him for the money they lost on the wedding.

His best friend Jacob, Rachel's brother, was completely torn. Jake wanted to be there for his friend, but he was worried about his sister. At least he didn't shut him out completely - there's hope for him. The silver linings were Paul's brother Jared and his friend Seth. They were amazing guys, giving him the support and love he needed. It really helped me to get him through the whole thing in one piece.

But the real godsend was my Rosalie; she was an angel. She realized just how bad off I was when she disappeared and I had to go through this without her. She was trying to make amends to me by helping with Paul. I kept telling her there was nothing to make up for, but - Rosalie being Rosalie - she just continued to be supportive.

_I seriously love that woman._

I meant it when I promised to be here whenever he needed me, so I tended to be the shoulder he cried on the most...and he cried...and cried...and cried. In those moments, I felt so helpless, comforting him the best I could, hoping it was enough. Hoping _I_ was enough.

* * *

_**Four months ago:**_

I wasn't supposed to fall for him; I was just supposed to be his friend. You know, the guy he goes to for answers, the guy that has been through this before, his solid in a world of insubstantial.

He wasn't supposed to fall for me; he only just came out. He was still getting over the fallout from his life-changing moment. He needed to adjust slowly, to discover who he is on his own. The last thing he needed was a boyfriend.

Regardless of all the reasons why we shouldn't, it doesn't matter...because we did. Sometimes life confused me, but I guess it was fate that brought him into my studio. I was meant to not just help him, but to love him - and I do. He was meant to bring love back into my life, after years of feeling unworthy of anyone.

I didn't know how to explain it, and I didn't know if I wanted to try. All I knew was that we loved each other and, despite everything that seemed wrong about us, it felt very right.

* * *

_**Three months ago:**_

"Babe?"

He looked at me, hazel eyes questioning. I watched his pink tongue poke out from behind his luscious red lips and had to keep a groan from escaping mine. I wanted to fucking jump him right there in the U-Haul. I watched a bead of sweat make a slow path down his caramel chest down through his sculpted abs and settle in that sexy line of hair that I glimpsed at the top of his low-slung basketball shorts.

"Em?"

"Em."

"_Emmett?"_

"Wha-?" I looked at my boy, my cheeks flushed as I realized I had been standing there with my mouth hanging open and eye fucking the shit out of him. I shook my head, and he just smiled. "Sorry, babe. I was just wondering if you ever heard that joke about the lesbians and the U-haul."

Still giving me that wicked smile for catching me ogling him, he shook his head 'no'.

"Oh. Well, the joke goes: what does a lesbian bring on a second date?"

He watched me, his lips curving in amusement.

"A U-Haul. Get it? A U-Haul." He just looked at me like I was crazy, and my cheeks burned once again. "I just...you know...found it funny because we're two gay men... moving in together after ...such a ...short time," I mumbled.

His hand found my chin, and he lifted my eyes to his face, where I was greeted with his killer smile.  
"I'm nervous, too, baby." He brushed his lips against both corners of my mouth and then softly pressed his mouth to mine. It had quickly become a ritual for us to kiss each other this way; it was one of _our _things, and it conveyed so much. "_I love you." "I'm here for you." "Please, just hold me."_

Pecking his lips softly, I let their smooth texture calm me. His arms embraced me, pulling me closer. My head fell onto his shoulder as I inhaled his scent, letting it wash over me and calm me, letting his hands soothe me as they ran up and down my back. After what felt like a lifetime of peace in his arms, we broke apart, and he kissed me one more time before we both got back to work.

"Baby?" he called as he headed into the apartment to grab some more boxes.

"Yeah?" I popped my head out of the back of the truck.

"The joke...it was pretty funny." With that, he winked, and I watched him head through the door.

_Jackass._

_Speaking of ass...his is pretty fine._

* * *

_**Two months ago:**_

"Emmet, please baby," he whispered, running his hands up the back of my neck into my hair. A low growl escaped my lips, and he smiled. He knew I loved it when he did that. "I need you." He kissed the corner of my mouth. "Need to feel you." He kissed the other corner. "Now, baby," he begged. His lips met mine in a scorching kiss I felt all the way to my toes.

_Fuck! I love it when he begs._

I pulled my mouth from his to tease him just a bit.

"Baby, no," he choked out, "...please." His fingertips skimmed down my back, sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine. Searching for the waistband of my jeans, he had no trouble slipping his fingers beneath to cup my ass as I hovered above him on our bed. Tugging me down on top of him, he thrust his hips up into me, and I groaned at the contact. The final straw was the little pout on his lips.

_Damn. My boy is getting really good at pushing my buttons._

I crashed my lips down onto his hard, devouring him. Relentless in my assault on his sinful mouth, I licked and nibbled until he opened to me. I slid my tongue in to meet his, and I was in heaven. Kissing my boy was one of my favorite things to do.

I loved the way he always let me dominate at first, letting me push him back, bend his will. I relished that he would gain force by challenging me a bit, slipping his tongue past mine into my mouth, taking control. I enjoyed when we would both surrender and let the passion take over, savoring each other. loving one another.

Passion was always the winner.

He broke the kiss, panting for breath as he stared into my eyes. I loved seeing him like this, so lost in me, in us.

"Please," he begged again.

"You're sure, babe? There's no rush. I'll wait for you, forever if I have to."

"I know..." He nodded. "..but I'm ready."

The reassurance from him was all I needed. Sure, I was terrified of hurting him, but I knew I could do this. My lips peppered his chest and abs with kisses and gentle licks. Slowly I rid him of the rest of his clothes. His cock jutted out proud, hard and thick; I had to lean forward to kiss the tip, and his moan was all the encouragement I needed to continue.

My tongue poked out to lick him once from base to tip before I sunk my mouth down around him, taking him all the way in. I moved up and down his shaft, sucking a bit harder each time, knowing it drove him crazy, licking and swallowing over and over. Paul's groans grew louder with each pass; he dug his hands into my hair, setting the rhythm he liked.

"Fuck, Em...oh, god."

I brought him to the brink before I slowed down. He needed to be relaxed for what we were going to do, but I wanted to see him come against his chest as I came deep inside him. Reaching across the bed, I grabbed the bottle to lube my fingers well before I slid one finger inside him.

_God, he feels so good. So hot, so tight, so perfect._

My finger pumped a few times before I added a second to stretch him for me. I kept my eyes on him, gauging his reaction to make sure this was all pleasure and not too much pain. I slid my fingers deeper to stroke his prostate before flicking my tongue out to tease the head of his delicious cock.

"Oh god...ungh...Em...fuuuuuck...baby...so good."

His words, along with his grunts and moans, had me so fucking hard in my jeans, I thought I would break the zipper. I had to get them off, but I was struggling since one hand was buried in his sexy ass.

Paul sat up swiftly, making my fingers slip from him, and undid my fly. He helped me slide my jeans down my legs and off my body. I had never been so happy to be going commando in my life.

I saw him lick his lips a few times at the sight of my dick and was tempted to let him have the taste I know he wanted, but we had plans. My hand on his chest, I pressed him back onto the mattress. Lubing my fingers again, I returned them to his tight heat, adding a third. He sucked in a breath, and I stopped my motions.

"You okay, babe?"

"Yes," he breathed, "...please don't...don't stop."

Bending over him to capture his lips with mine, I let everything fade. He sent me such love and fervor with each kiss, and I cherished the feeling, keeping it close to my heart before I sent it back to him. My mouth traveled his jaw, nipping and licking, continuing on to his neck and chest, laving him with affection.

He turned his head from left to right repeatedly, mumbling and moaning. He started to buck up into my hand, and I knew he was ready for me. My hand slid from him, and his eyes snapped to mine, a fiery blaze of lust within their depths. He wanted me just as bad as I wanted him.

Sheathing myself in the condom, I added a generous amount of lube to my throbbing erection before spreading his cheeks to coat him with my wet fingers. I aligned my body against him, only to feel him tense up. Fear flashed in his eyes, but it was gone after a moment as he nodded his head to me.

Taking his face in my hands, my thumbs stroked his cheeks as I leaned in to kiss him. I pushed into him slowly, kissing away the small cry from his lips at the pain of the intrusion. I watched his eyes go wide and then slam shut as I slipped further inside. My hands were always somewhere on his body - soothing, stroking, rubbing. My lips murmured words of love and adoration, both trying to take the sting away.

Once fully seated inside him, I fought my body to remain still. He needed time to adjust, and even though it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life - besides coming out - I remained still. He felt so good around me, so right.

_Fuck... so tight._

Paul's kisses on my neck became hungrier, his groans louder, and his eyes opened and focused on me. Soon his hips thrusted up into mine, and I knew it was okay to move. I pulled back, then pushed in hard a few times, finding a slow cadence that had him panting and digging his fingers into my ass cheeks.

"More...fuck, baby... harder."

Who was I to deny the man?

Our mouths met on occasion in hot, fevered kisses, and when his tongue wasn't in my mouth, our lips searched each other's bodies for the spots that would drive the other crazy - kissing, licking, sucking, biting. Our fingers were hungry for each other as well, flying over our heated forms, bringing out moans and growls neither of us had ever heard. I slid my hand between our bodies and gripped his cock, pumping him in time with my thrusts.

I had fucked and been fucked by other men, and Paul had made love to me, but _I _had never made love to a man. That was exactly what I was doing with Paul, and the feeling was incredible. His moans hit a higher pitch when I shifted his hips and began to hit spots so deep inside him on every other stroke.

"Em," he whimpered, "...baby...gonna come."

My hand sped up. I flicked my thumb over the head a few times, hearing his groans of pleasure. I was buried so far in bliss that I didn't want to leave ever, but the burning in my thighs and tightness of my balls told me I didn't have much longer.

"Emmett," he screamed before his ass clamped down around my cock and thick jets of cum shot between us all over his chest and my hand.

Seeing the look of pure ecstasy on his face sent me full throttle over the edge. I came hard and fast, and I didn't know how long it would take me to get down from heaven.

After we finally did return to earth, we cleaned up our mess, and then I held him in my arms as we lay in bed snuggling each other tight.

"Paul?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me. That was a gift you gave me, and I will be eternally grateful that you chose to trust me."

He kissed my lips softly and looked into my eyes. "It's because I love you, Em. I love you very much."

"I love you, too, babe."

* * *

_**Six weeks ago:**_

"Whatever you want to pack. I don't care," Paul blurted in a despondent tone that had me on edge.  
We were planning our trip up to Connecticut for Jasper and Edward's wedding in a few weeks, and I was trying to think through what we were going to need to pack when Paul had just...shut down. In fact, if I really thought about it, this started about the time the invitation showed up two weeks ago, not too long after I had made love to him, and I was really starting to worry.

"I just wanted to know if you were planning on buying something specifically for the trip..."

"Whatever you want," he answered bluntly.

I grasped for his arm to pull him to me, but before I could make contact, he backed away out of my reach.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

He winced, and my heart started pounding so hard I couldn't hear anything but its fevered tempo in my ears. Something about the way he wouldn't look me in the eye scared me.

"Em, can we sit down please?"

"Sure, do you want me to make you something to drink? Tea?"

"No. Just...please, can we sit?" He motioned to the couch, and I took my place next to him. As I turned my body to face him, I couldn't help but notice the distance he had put between us, choosing to sit almost at the end.

I stared at him, waiting for him to speak, fighting my nerves every second he was silent. I forced my breakfast to stay down with every tick of the clock. I knew something was seriously wrong. I shouldn't have brushed off his odd behavior the previous two weeks. I had never been more afraid, and he still wouldn't look at me.

_This is bad._

"I can't do this," he whispered.

My eyes closed.

_Don't overreact. Maybe he means something else._

"What can't you do?" I whispered back. If this was what I thought it was, then I wanted him to say it. Out loud.

"Em, I can't...I'm sorry...I can't. I really thought I could, but it's too much, too fast. I don't know what you want from me. I don't know if I could ever be as out and free as you. It's just..."

"Did you ever think to ask me what I want from you?" The venom in my tone unmistakable. "I only ever want to love you. I thought you loved me too," I finish, my voice faltering.

"I do love you, but..."

"But NOTHING! If you loved me, you wouldn't cut and run the second you got scared," I spat. "I'm scared, too...you remember that? The day we were moving in together. _You_ were the one to reassure _me. _What happened to you? Have I ever made you feel like I was pushing you too fast? Have I?"

He shook his head, his eyes focused on the couch cushion. He took a breath like he was preparing himself before bringing his eyes to mine. "I'm not ready to get married...to a man, to anyone. I can't be that for you."

I sat in shock, wondering what I did that made him think I would pressure him into something he was not ready for, especially marriage. As I took in the steely glint in his eyes, I knew there was nothing I could say or do to make him stay. He felt like he couldn't do this; he felt like he had to go. So I could do nothing but let him go. Unfortunately, he would be taking my heart with him, leaving in its place a shattered ghost of its former occupant.

He left.

* * *

_**Present Day:**_

"Emmett, please?" his voice rasped, and I winced. It had been six weeks since I had last heard that voice, a voice I knew in my sleep.

"Stay the _fuck _away from him," I heard Rosie growl from where she stood.

Turning slowly, fighting the fear knotted in my stomach, I looked up at the glorious face of the owner of my heart. He was still so beautiful. Flawless caramel skin, expressive hazel eyes, waves of soft black hair, strong jaw, full red lips.

I sighed, "So beautiful." But through his beauty, I could tell that life had not been kind to him. There were dark circles under his eyes, which were not sparkling with their usual light. He looked to have lost weight; his hair was a mess, his clothes rumpled, and his perfect bottom lip looked like it had been split recently.

I stood, his body mere inches from mine, and I could still feel it all; everything was still there. Everything that was us was pulsing, waiting for us to acknowledge it. I raised my hand to gently rub my finger over his lip, wondering if someone hurt him. He took my hand in his own, pressing his lips to it lightly.

"Emmett?" he asked, eyes on mine searching, begging. "May I please have this dance?"

Rosalie started to make her way around the table towards us. I held my hand up to her, my eyes locking on hers, beseeching. She sighed, sending a curt nod my way, but not before giving Paul the most hateful look I had ever seen her give.

Following him onto the dance floor, I heard the first notes of Journey's "Open Arms" and I laughed a bit. Of course Paul would want to waltz to a cheesy eighties ballad - at least he chose a song that was in 3/4 time.

We took our positions, and I let him lead. As we made our way across the dance floor, everything came tumbling back with so much force that I gasped for breath.

Our life together was playing out for us, all the feeling at once: our rocky start, our friendship, his pain, our love, and finally our combined heartache. I knew he felt it, too, because his arms gripped me tighter with every passing moment. I felt him quaking from the strength of the emotions beneath my fingertips. It seemed fate was giving us a way to heal, a way back to one another.

With each natural turn, a bit of my pain dissolved. Each whisk brought a piece of my shattered heart back together. By the time he led me into a reverse turn, I was ready to place all my unease behind me and try to just _be_ with him.

Paul pulled me closer, bringing his lips against my ear before he whispered the lyrics to the chorus to me. His voice was desperate, and I could hear the trepidation.

_So now I come to you with open arms_  
_Nothing to hide, believe what I say_  
_So here I am with open arms_  
_Hoping you'll see what your love means to me_  
_Open arms _

Yes, it may have been one of the corniest songs I knew, but I understood why he chose it. He was trying to tell me in his own way that he was ready for a life with me. Whatever life I wanted, he wanted to share it with me.

He loved me.

Inhaling deeply, I pulled back to look in his eyes. They would tell me everything I needed to know. He brought his gaze to mine, and I exhaled.

"Paul," I breathed, taking him into my arms for a deep hug, not caring that we had stopped waltzing. Our bodies held each other while we swayed to the music, not hearing anything but each other's breath.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," he sobbed into my shoulder. "Please, forgive me. Please, I'm rea..."

My lips cut him off as they took his in a searing kiss. I used them to show him I forgave him, missed him, but most of all, I loved him. Repeated gentle kisses rained down on his lips before he pulled back, hissing slightly. My thumb ran over the spot where his bottom lip was split, and I raised my brow, questioning him with worry in my eyes.

"Don't worry about that, Em. A smart, amazing person made me see how stupid I was being right before she showed me a wicked right hook."

I turned my head to look for Rosalie, but he grabbed my chin, forcing me to face him.

"No, I deserved it. In fact, I deserve worse for hurting you. You are _the _most amazing man I ever met. She just reminded me how lucky I was to actually have your love, and how much of an asshole I was for throwing it away. Emmett...baby...I love you so much, and I am so sorry for acting like a fool. I was scared and..." He ran his hands through his hair, his eyes on the floor "I don't deserve your forgiveness or your love, but now that you've graciously given both back to me, I will do everything in my power to keep them."

The song ended and another began. From the corner of my eye, I saw other couples making their way onto the dance floor, including the grooms. Ed and Jazz eyed me, concern on their faces. I shook them off before returning my attention to the man in my arms.

"Paul." I waited for him to bring his beautiful hazel eyes to mine. "May I please have this dance?"

"Forever, baby...forever." He smiled and kissed me gently as we took the floor in each other's arms, where we belong.

* * *

**A/N: **_Hope you enjoyed my slash cherry popping. Had to do it for Nae...love her too much. There is a link to the banner I made Nae for this story in my profile :)_

**Waltz terminology**

_Natural Turn: _

_In simple terms, the Natural Turn is a fundamental figure consisting of six steps that turns to the right and progresses generally down line of dance. Most of the ballroom dances have a figure called a Natural Turn, and depending on the character of the dance, the timing, rise and fall, amount of rotation, etc. will vary._

_In the Slow Waltz, the figure begins with man facing diagonal wall and will rotate 3/4 of a turn to right over six steps to end facing diagonal center. Emphasis is placed on creating the effect of swinging motion of the bodies through space, and maximizing rise as the feet come together on the 3rd and 6th steps._

_When the Natural Turn is combined with Closed Changes and Reverse Turns, a dancer will have sufficient material with which to navigate around the floor._

_Whisk:_

_The Whisk is one of the few steps in beginning Waltz ended in promenade position. It consists of three steps that progress down the line of dance, but can also be used to turn corners or change alignments, depending on the amount of turn and who is doing the turning._

_The basic Whisk begins in closed position with man facing diagonal wall, and ends in promenade position, ready to travel down the line of dance. The man has no turn, but opens the lady to promenade position (lady turns 1/4 to the right) between steps 1 and 2, and both cross the moving leg behind the standing leg on step 3, achieving the final, characteristic position of the Whisk. _

_Reverse Turn:_

_In simple terms, the Reverse Turn is a fundamental figure consisting of six steps that turns to the left and progresses generally down line of dance. Most of the ballroom dances have a figure called a Reverse Turn, and depending on the character of the dance, the timing, rise and fall, amount of rotation, etc. will vary._

_In the Slow Waltz, the figure begins with man facing diagonal center and will rotate 3/4 of a turn to the left over six steps to end facing diagonal wall. Emphasis is placed on creating the effect of swinging motion of the bodies through space, and maximizing rise as the feet come together on the 3rd and 6th steps._

_When the Reverse Turn is combined with Closed Changes and Natural Turns, a dancer will have sufficient material with which to navigate around the floor._


	2. Dancing Cheek To Cheek

**A/N: This piece was written as a continuation to May I Please Have This Dance. I was originally going to post it as a separate story but decided to add it on as a sort of second chapter. **

**This was finished quite a long time ago but never beta'd. I figured it did me no good just sitting in my computer. Someone may enjoy it, so here it is. Warning...it is quite sad at some points and there is no real lemon, only some lime action.**

**Dedicated to my mother. You were my rock, you were my angel, you were my joy and hope, and smile. I miss you mom, very much. You are my Nanna Ann. xoxo**

The stale hospital air was getting to me; but I had been here all day, and I wasn't about to leave her now just to get some fresh air. The room was quiet except for the low steady beep of the machine monitoring her pulse ox and heart rate. My own heart nearly leapt into my throat every time the alarm went off alerting us her oxygen level was dangerously low.

She had been on 100% oxygen for a day and a half, which meant she wasn't breathing for herself. Her lungs ravaged by Cancer were finally failing her after a long hard battle. Her body too weak from chemo and radiation, just couldn't fight the pneumonia. She was dying.

I sat in the cramped chair beside her bed, and held her frail hand. I gently ran my fingers along the back of her hand and up her arm, tracing the prominent veins. My eyes watched her flit in and out of sleep, she was so uncomfortable; the oxygen mask digging in to her cheeks. When she would wake for small periods of time I would try to make her laugh and smile, but occasionally I would catch the look of pain in her eyes.

The nurses would come in to administer more pain medication, I hated the way they looked at her. Like she was already gone. What I hated even more was the stupid sympathetic looks they gave me. I didn't want their sympathy, and neither would she.

I had sent Rosie and Paul home a long time ago. I know they were just trying to be here for me but I nearly snapped when they teamed up against me suggesting I go home for the night like the rest of the family. I wouldn't leave her, not tonight, not ever. She never left me so I would show her the same love and respect.

One of the orderlies brought me a much more comfortable chair, followed by a nurse with a pillow and blanket, since I was staying the night. It took a while to get situated, but eventually I settled once again next to her still form. It was a little after eight o'clock in the evening when I started to doze off.

"_Oh, what's wrong my Baby bear?" Her soft hands raised to my cheeks wiping my tears away with her thumbs. She pulled a hanky out of her apron and wiped below my nose before she kissed it gently,_

"_Nannaaa beaaarr," I cried smothering my face into her shoulder as she leaned down to pick me up._

"_You, have to tell Nanna what's bothering you sweet boy, or she can't figure out how to help."_

_I shook my head 'no' before nuzzling further into her neck. She kissed my cheek and patted my hair. She started humming, and rocking gently back and forth in a beautiful swaying motion that calmed me instantly. I raised my head and pulled back to look at her._

"_Nanna," I sniffled. "What are you humming?"_

"_Just one of my favorite songs," she spun us quickly making me giggle when the air whipped through my hair. "Would you like to hear it?"_

_I nodded enthusiastically. She put me down and held onto my hand leading me into her sitting room. She walked over to a cabinet and grabbed one of her records before she spun around with a big smile on her face._

"_You're going to like this one, Baby bear."_

_She removed the record from its sleeve placing it on her turntable, and lightly set the needle down. The hiss and crackle had my eyes wide and my grin firmly in place. I loved when Nanna played her records for me. She sat in her favorite arm chair with the faded flowers, and motioned for me to sit on her lap. She lay her head back and closed her eyes as a man's voice floated through the air._

_Heaven. I'm in Heaven_  
_And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;_

_And then Nanna started singing. I loved when she sang; her voice clear as a bell, and so beautiful it never failed to stop me in my tracks and soothe me._

_And I seem to find the happiness I seek._  
_When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek._

_Nanna lifted me off her lap and began dancing around her sitting room swinging me in her arms as she sang. Everything that had been bothering me was gone in that instant. It was just me, and Nanna, dancing. She always made it better._

_By songs end I was trying to sing along, my dimples showing themselves to Nanna as I smiled. She always told me my smile brightened up her world, and that my dimples were proof that I had been touched by an angel. So I always smiled real big for her, whenever she had made me feel good._

"_I love this song, Nanna bear."_

"_I knew you would, Baby bear," she winked. "Now are you ready to tell me what was bothering you?"_

" _Ernest was making fun of me again," I mumbled._

"_Oh really. What did your knuckle head brother say now?"_

_I didn't want to tell her, I was afraid she would get really mad, and then Ernest would just take it out on me again. Or worse...she might stop dancing with me._

"_Emmett Dale McCarty you tell me right this instant."_

_Full name, she's mad. Nothing I could do but tell her or I would be in trouble too._

"_He called me sissy boy, because I wanted to come over here again to dance with you, Nanna. Um and then he...well...he," I turned my eyes to the ground and felt the tears again._

"_Please, don't cry my Baby bear," she wiped my eyes again. "When you cry Nanna bear wants to cry because your sweet face was made for smiles, not tears. Okay?"_

_I sniffled and nodded. She fixed me with her look. The look that spoke straight to me, telling me how much she loved me, all with her eyes, and I broke, the words tumbling from my mouth._

"_Ernest pushed me down, and then he punched me in the arm, and I started crying, and then he started calling me crybaby, and sissy boy, and his friends were laughing, and..."_

_Nanna quieted me with a kiss to the forehead. She huffed loudly, nostrils flaring. She was mad, she was very mad. I heard her mumbling about 'someone needs to take a switch to that boy', and 'can't believe that ungrateful son of mine allows this', and even some cuss words. Then her eyes shot to my wide ones, and she calmed herself._

"_Baby bear, come sit with Nanna bear." She pulled me onto her lap again, brushing my hair gently off of my face. "Emmett, you are special to Nanna, you know that right?" I smiled and she smiled back. "Sweet boy, there are people in this world that don't seem to understand others well. There are people who don't want to try to understand, they're happy just making others miserable for being different._

"_These people are afraid of anything unique, maybe even jealous. I suspect Ernest is one of those people, he is jealous of the light that shines in you, my boy. They will try to keep you down in any way they can to make themselves feel important. There will be times like today when you feel broken from their actions, but you must never let them get to you. Just enjoy being you, show the world what you have to offer, and be proud of who you are. You are perfect just the way God made you, do you understand me, Baby bear?"_

_Her long slender fingers pulled my chin up to meet her gaze, and I saw so much love in them, but there was something else there that I could not figure out at the time. It looked a bit like fear, like she knew something I didn't, and was afraid for me. I could not understand why. Her eyes searched mine in question, waiting for me to answer._

"_Yes, Nanna," I whispered._

_She kissed the top of my head and snuggled me closer before asking if I wanted to dance some more. I answered her, dimpled grin in place, and she chuckled. Returning to her turntable, Nanna lifted the needle to place at the edge of the record and I was lost to our world once again. She lifted me up in her arms, and spun me again._

"_I love you, Nanna bear."_

"_I love you too, Baby bear."_

I awoke with a start, my hands flew to my chest over my heart. My shirt felt damp, and my sleep addled brain could not find a reason. Sitting up I brought my hands to my face and felt that I had been crying in my sleep. My mind had taken me to one of my many memories of my dear Nanna as I slept.

She had helped me through so much in life, showing me unconditional love without fail. If I had fallen she would pick me up, dust me off, care for me, and send me on my way with cookies in hand. Whenever I got into it with my older brother she would smooth it over, make me feel better and kiss my tears away.

When I was older she was the voice of reason when I was fighting with my father, or thinking about doing something foolish to fit in at school. She was the one that taught me to dance, and love it. She was the one that taught me to love myself. Nanna was the driving force in my life that made me reach for my dream of owning my own dance studio. Even when my father called me stupid for following the path to becoming a professional dancer and instructor, she helped me persevere.

It was her voice I heard in my head when I decided to break off my engagement with Rosie and officially come out. When I came out to her, she only smiled and patted my hand, before she told me how proud she was. She hugged me tight, and gave me the strength I needed to make it through one of the darkest parts of my life. When I thought I had lost Paul forever; her voice over the phone, weak from a fresh round of radiation treatment told me to have hope.

I leaned forward my head hung low, hands digging into my hair. A low sob made it's way through my constricted throat and I let the tears take me. My shoulders shook with the force of my outburst. Not wanting to wake her I tried to remain as quiet as possible, but I know I failed when I heard her speak.

"Baby bear," her voice scratchy from lack of use.

My head snapped up to look at her, just as the pulse ox monitor started beeping. She had moved her oxygen mask so I would hear her.

"Nanna, please don't move your mask again. You scare me when you do that."

I tried to wipe my tears away quickly so she wouldn't see, as I rose to help her with her mask. The look on her face told me that again I had failed in trying to hide my tears from her. I moved closer so that I could hear her speak through the mask.

"Oh, my dear sweet boy," she swallowed thickly. "No tears. No tears for little old me...please, Baby bear?"

I wiped the last of the wetness from my cheeks, and smiled at her.

"Of course, Nanna. I'm so sorry. Would you like some water?"

Her whispered 'yes' was almost inaudible. I grabbed the cup off of her table and filled it with ice water from the pitcher before inserting a bendy straw. I would have to move the mask for a few seconds so that she could sip, but this was routine by now. She knew she would have to drink as quickly as possible so that every nurse on the floor wouldn't come rushing in.

After she had her water, I grabbed the lotion off of the table and began massaging her feet and legs. She loved this and smiled every time I did it. It was something that kept her happy during the precious moments she was awake, so I didn't mind at all. Gently I rubbed the almond lotion into her pale, dry skin. Nanna giggled when I hit her toes...she was always so ticklish there, I chuckled and replaced her socks before tucking her back in.

Although I hated it, I had to leave her momentarily to use the bathroom and thoroughly wash my hands, before using more hand sanitizer. The hospital had a strict policy about hand sanitizer, especially in cases where a patient's, immune system was shot (like my Nanna).

"What time is it, sweet boy?"

"Why Nanna, got a hot date?" I teased.

She chuckled . "Just wondering."

"It's late, almost eleven. Maybe you should get back to sleep, you have a lot of people coming to see you tomorrow. You want to look your best don't you?"

She gave me an odd look before she smiled, and nodded. I settled in next to her, taking her hand in mine, tracing her veins softly. Moments passed that felt like hours, and I was grateful, because it made it seem like I had more time with her.

"Baby bear"

Her plea sounded desperate.

"Yes, Nanna...what is it? What do you need?"

"Sing for me?"

She sounded scared, my strong amazing Nanna was afraid. In that moment I knew exactly what she needed.

Heaven. I'm in Heaven.  
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;  
And I seem to find the happiness I seek  
When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek.

Her eyes closed, her smile more radiant then I had seen in months.

Heaven. I'm in Heaven.  
And the cares that hang around me thro' the week  
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak.  
When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek.

Oh! I'd love to climb a mountain,  
And to reach the highest peak  
But it doesn't thrill me half as much  
As dancing cheek to cheek.

Her eyes cut to mine, swimming in tears. They were not tears of pain, or fear, they were tears of joy.

Dance with me  
I want my arm about you;  
The charm about you  
Will carry me thro' to Heaven

She mouthed 'love you', and gripped my hand tighter momentarily before letting go. My voice cracked, but I pushed out the last verse. I had to finish her song.

I'm in Heaven.  
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;  
And I seem to find the happiness I seek  
When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek.

She slipped away quietly, a smile of peace on her face. I placed her hand gently beside her on the bed. There was so much noise, the machines beeping, nurses and a doctor rushing in, but I heard none of it. All I heard was her voice in my head telling me everything was going to be okay. I leaned in to kiss her goodbye. She was pronounced dead just as I whispered into her ear.

"Love you, Nanna bear. I'll miss you so much."

Then the dam broke, now that she wasn't here to scold me, I could hold the tears no longer. I fell into my chair and let go. The staff filed out in silence, leaving me to my grief. As soon as the door clicked shut I felt it over take me, pulling me under, drowning me in pain and sorrow. My heart ached, and I longed to scream in agony, but when my mouth opened no sound came out.

Every time I thought I had my emotions under control, I would look up at her and fall into the abyss of anguish yet again. Sometime later, but I have no idea how long, a nurse timidly entered to inform me that they had contacted my family. I just nodded, I couldn't even bring myself to thank her.

A few moments later I heard the door open once again. I felt a warmth flowing through the air, it embraced me and calmed me. He was near me in an instant, kneeling in front of me, his arms enveloping me, his hands soothing, his mere presence a comfort. He said no words, because he knew there was nothing he could say to take my pain away. He rocked me softly in place, and kissed my head letting me fall apart in his arms.

"How did you know?" I mumbled into his shoulder, my voice breaking.

"Edward's on in Emergency tonight. When he called he was frantic, knowing you would need someone. He pulled some strings for them to let me in after visiting hours."

I tried to manage a smile, but was unsuccessful. Paul brought his palm to cup my face, his thumb gently caressing my cheekbone. He stared into my soul giving me the love I needed to make it through this pain.

"Em, baby we need to get you home. You need some sleep, you know your Nanna would hate to see you this way. She'd let me have it if I didn't take care of you," he chuckled. "I'm going to wait outside a few minutes, okay?"

He kissed me softly, then stood and turned to her.

"Nanna Ann, I didn't get much time to know you as I would have liked, but I am so grateful for the time I did get to spend with you. You are such an amazing woman, an inspiration to us all. I wanted to thank you for accepting me as your family. Even after you knew I had hurt Emmett in the past, you showed me love. But most of all I want to thank you for raising the most beautiful, kind, sweet, generous, loving man I have ever had the pleasure to meet. I know I am lucky to have him, and I promise you I will take care of him."

He kissed her cheek, wiped his tears and turned to leave.

"I'll be right outside if you need me, baby," he squeezed my shoulder before walking out.

My heart hurt to turn and leave her, but I had to be strong for her. Paul was right, she would not want me sitting here suffering, crying over her body. I stood on shaky legs, to kiss her one last time. Her cheek was still warm, the smile on her lips my only solace.

"Goodbye, Nanna bear," I whispered and I left.

There he stood across her grave from me. The man I hadn't spoken to since the day I told him I was gay, my father. We were bound by blood, and our grief, yet we were still worlds apart. He couldn't even bring himself to look me in the eye. Sure it was like adding insult to injury, but I knew I would be okay. With Rosie holding my left hand, Paul holding my right, I felt like I could make it through this day, or any day.

After the preacher led us in prayer, I bent to lay fresh lilac, cut from my garden this morning on top her coffin. The small bouquet of purple flowers paled in comparison to the large arrangement of roses from my parents. It even looked silly next to the flowers from Ernest, but I knew they would mean more to her than any other flowers present. They were her favorite; she loved their scent, and she was the one that taught me how to garden. In fact she had helped me plant the very lilac shrub that I cut for her bouquet.

Her coffin was lowered and my knees buckled under the weight of my pain. Paul slid his arm around my waist anchoring me to his side, he wouldn't let me fall. He kissed my temple , and I hid my face in his neck, not wishing to see her in the ground. I couldn't stop the tears, as they came pouring down my face with such force. I couldn't breath, if felt like there was a ton of weight on my chest.

Gasping for air I panicked; the look on my face as I lifted it to Paul must have scared the shit out of him. He sprang into action handing Rosalie the keys to the car so she could open the doors. Paul lifted me slightly to make sure I was on my feet before he tightened his grip around my waist, and made his way to the waiting car.

We were almost to the car when I heard my brother's voice muttering under his breath.

"Still a fucking sissy boy."

I didn't have the strength to fight him, yes it hurt really bad, but I remembered what Nanna told me, about those wishing to keep me down, I shook my head and kept walking. I may not have the strength but Paul certainly did. He yelled for Rosalie to come hold me up before spinning quickly to face my brother.

"Listen to me, _mother fucker..._I tried to be polite, and not say anything when I saw you making faces and rolling your eyes at Em all week at the hospital."

My brother's face was full of shock.

"Oh yeah, didn't think I saw that did ya? I also heard your snide remarks when you thought no one was around."

Ernest's jaw dropped and he stepped back. I could only guess the look of pure death Paul was giving him.

"I _tried _to be understanding, knowing that she was your grandmother too, but the time for understanding is over. I am not going to disrespect the memory of that amazing woman, by hitting her grandson at her funeral...but know this...I will eventually give you the ass kicking you deserve for treating your brother like shit during this whole ordeal."

My brother's eyes turned to slits.

"I'd like to see you try...you fucking pussy."

_Oh shit!_

I could tell the effort it was taking for Paul to hold his anger in because he physically started to shake, and his hands clenched over and over.

"Real classy," he spit through clenched teeth. "What a way to honor your grandmother. You are not even worth my time, and that man over there," he gestured to me "...your brother...he is an amazing man, and you will never know it. You will never see it because you're living life as close-minded, ignorant, fucking jerk-off."

My beautiful man turned to make his way back towards me and Rosie, when he caught her eye. He quickly spun back around and shouted at my brother's retreating form.

"Oh yeah, and you're an asshole."

I smiled my first smile in days, knowing this used to be Rosie's term for Paul. I guess they found a new asshole to take the title. Rosalie nodded in approval.

The weeks following her funeral were a blur. There were the good days which weren't exactly _good_ since I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. Jasper rearranged his work schedule, since he worked from home, to cover my classes and help Rose with our private clients. Paul would drop in to help Rose with the cleaning and maintenance of the studio. My poor sweet Rosalie was stuck doing the books on her own. I felt like shit ignoring my obligations, but I had the greatest friends and boyfriend in the world; they knew I needed some time to heal.

Then there were the bad days, where I just stayed in bed. I slept the days away, trying to avoid the melancholy that had settled over my life. On those days Paul would usually get home from work, and get straight in the bed cuddling up behind me, running his fingers through my hair.

He was my saving grace many days, and I worried if I was driving him away with my behavior. I was constantly afraid he would leave me, afraid that he would be angry that we hadn't made love. As always he calmed my fears, and showed me he was here for me no matter what.

Then there were the really bad days, where I just cried. I didn't want any comfort. I didn't want any words of wisdom. I just wanted my Nanna, and I wanted to cry it out. I was given a wide berth by everyone on those days. Paul would go stay with Jared or Seth to avoid my outbursts, he knew if he wasn't around I couldn't say things I would regret later on. I knew that if I needed him I could call, and he would be back in an instant.

Weeks turned into months. I had started to live this pseudo life, I didn't know why I let myself get this way. I was back where I started, living the life of someone that wasn't me. I knew if my Nanna could see me, she would be so disappointed in me. I just didn't know how to turn off the pain and live again.

I knew one thing for sure I hadn't danced since the day her doctor called telling me to get up to the hospital as soon as possible. I hadn't danced. It felt weird to think the words, dancing was such a part of me, a part that she had instilled in me.

_How could I dance without her?_

I couldn't stay like this forever. So I resolved to make some small steps toward taking my life back. If Paul wanted to go out to dinner, I went. If Rose wanted us to come over for a game night with the guys, I went. Everyone was happy to see me coming back to myself, but they all knew I wouldn't be whole again until I danced.

The cold wind whipped around my face as Edward, Rose and I walked through the city. The frosty air felt amazing, after hours of hot stuffy department stores and shops. We had made a day of it. Getting our Christmas shopping done, while spending time wandering Manhattan's winter wonderland together.

Making our way down 5th Avenue, we had hit all the major stores. Saks, Armani, A&F, Tiffany's, and Bergdoff of course. Both Jasper and Paul had some new techie stuff on their wish lists, so Edward and I had fun in the Apple Store. We stopped along the way to see the tree at Rockefeller Center, and to light a candle for my Nanna in St. Patrick's. Finally we stopped for a breather at the Pulitzer Fountain, in front of The Plaza.

The three of us just relaxed for a bit; eating roasted chestnuts from the vendor on the corner as we talked about our purchases, and how much fun we were having. A small comfortable lull had just settled over us when I saw Rose shoot a wicked smirk towards Ed.

_What the fuck was that?_

Deciding I didn't care, I just sat in silence enjoying the beautiful Winter's day. Loving the time spent with good friends, happy to see myself emerging back into who I know I am. The two of them held their heads close together in discussion, suddenly Edward's voice rang loud enough for me to hear.

"I need to get home before Jasper does, so I can hide his gifts. You know how childlike he is when it comes to Christmas."

We both nodded and stood before Rose added, "Yeah, I'm beat too, we should get going."

I just shrugged, It was getting dark anyway so I didn't mind. Making a path back the way we had come, we headed for the subway. It hadn't escaped my notice that we were walking towards W.57th, too near to the studio for my liking. Just as my mind was focusing on this Rosie piped up again.

"I just need to check something at the studio real quick."

I eyed her suspiciously. She knew why I hadn't been able to go to the studio. It hurt to much to see my dream without the passion inside me to dance. Rose brushed it off when I bristled, and went straight to the pouty face.

_I hate the pouty face._

"Please, Em," her voice low, and her eyes soft. "It'll only be a moment, and then we can go. I left important paperwork in the office, that I need to work on tonight."

Almost instantaneously the guilt swirled up into my gut. It was my fault that she was taking work home. I was bringing her this added stress that she didn't deserve. If I was truly present in my life, we would have gotten the paperwork done together, at work in our offices, and left it there.

I was so ashamed of myself. I was scared to even look at the studio, but I had to follow her without complaint, it was the least I could do.

"Emmett," Edward whispered. " It's okay buddy. Everything is going to be fine. If you need to lean on me...I'm here."

"Thanks, Ed...I think I can do this."

_I think_

The smile I sent his way was small, but I needed him to know I greatly appreciated his gesture. I stood a little taller as we reached the corner steeling myself. When we approached the doors, my whole body began to tremble. It must have been very visible to both Edward and Rosalie, because they both reached down to hold my hands.

_I love them. They truly are my family._

The first thing to strike me as off, was the fact that our roll down gate wasn't down. Rosalie didn't let go of me to fish her keys out of her purse, which I found odd. Even more strange, she gently pushed the door open with her elbow.

_It was unlocked? Why was our studio open when there were no classes being held? Were we robbed? Oh God no! This is our life._

As the door swung open the questions left my mind, a soft glow from the main room drawing my attention. Votive candle were laid out across the floor forming the shape of a heart. A beautifully set table for two sat in the center of the heart; a delicious meal displayed on top.

The candle light bounced off the mirrors bathing the entire room in a breathtaking ambiance. My eyes quickly scanned the room trying to make sense of this all. My mind, for the life of me, could not figure out the scene before me.

I stepped further into the studio and that's when I saw it; the most beautiful sight my eyes had ever beheld. There he was my gorgeous boyfriend standing in the doorway that separated the two dance rooms; he was dressed to kill and wearing my favorite accessory, his killer smile.

My heart lurched as well as my cock, God he was exquisite. My gaze locked on his and it was like there was nothing else in the room. It vaguely registered when I felt the bags being taken from my hands, and when I heard the soft click of the lock telling me that Edward and Rosalie had just left.

Paul remained still, just smiling as I took it all in. He wore a metallic gray suit with a royal blue button down, and black silk tie. The man looked pretty much edible to me, and it was complete torture. We hadn't made love in months, I was just never up for it. Yes we were men and had needs, so the occasional hand job or blow job was customary in our home, but I knew he had to be feeling just as lost as I was.

We needed each other. That was a fact proven over a year ago when we were apart for six weeks. Afterwards we had both said the six weeks felt like an eternity, and it was at that moment that I realized what my sweet boy was doing. He was trying to help me find a way back to a complete me, so we could find us together. Taking a few steps closer to him, I noticed the single red rose he held in his hands.

_He loves me. How did I get so lucky?_

"Paul," I rasped.

He brought his hands up to his lips indicating that I should remain silent. So I did.

"Emmett, my love. Two years ago tonight, I stood on this very spot a broken man. A man searching for the answers, a man that needed someone to understand. You were that someone. You took me in and treated me with a kindness I had never known, despite the horrible words, I spat at you. My words were hurtful and full of hatred, yet still you heard me out. You showed me how great a man you are when you offered your friendship and understanding."

The tears began to fall from my eyes, I saw his fingers twitch and I knew he wanted to wipe them away, but he stood still in the doorway, his eyes calling me to him. He wanted me to come to him like I did that night. So I did.

Paul's right hand reached up to stem the flow of my cascading tears with his thumb. His eyes piercing my soul for a moment, before his arms embraced me tightly.

"Shh, baby it's okay. I got you."

His arms and words soothed me. He brought his lips to my ear and continued his speech without letting me go.

"You showed me what an amazing man you are when you stood by me as I came out. And you proved yourself to be sheer perfection when you let me love you, and showed me everyday how much you love me back. You took me back, when I was stupid, when I made the mistake of running from you...you beautiful man. Now it's my turn to prove myself worthy of your greatness; deserving of your love."

I was about to argue with him on this statement, but he knew me too well, and he squeezed me tighter.

"Shush you...just listen...please baby."

I nodded. I couldn't deny the desperation in his plea.

"These past five months, I've watched you suffer so much anguish. You need to know that you are no less of a man for succumbing to the grief. In fact baby, you have done quite well under the circumstances. You even realized you were not living your life, and decided to do something about it without any nudging from anyone.

However, we all knew you would need help with this hurdle, It is too great for you to manage alone. Emmett..."

Lifting my head from his shoulder I looked into his gaze.

"You're. Never. Alone."

He punctuated each word with our kiss, one to each corner and then full on the lips. Paul slowly helped me peel off my black down parka, and gray knit cap. Suddenly I felt way under-dressed in my black thermal henley and dark wash jeans. I mean the man was standing next to me dressed to the nines. He must have felt my discomfort, because his next words comforted me.

"You look gorgeous, baby. You always do, Em...just the way you are."

A small blush broke across my cheeks as he handed me my rose, and took my hand to lead me to our table.

Dinner was delicious, one of my favorite meals, shrimp and spinach alfredo. And dessert was heavenly, a light fluffy pastry with fresh berries on top. I loved every bite, but I loved the man that made it possible even more. Conversation during our meal was light, fun, and very sweet because he knew the hard part would come immediately after.

His eyes searched mine again, needing that signal that it was okay to proceed with his plan. It came in the form of a tight nervous smile. Paul breathed in deeply closing his eyes for a bit of strength before he locked them with mine again.

"You, ready baby?"

"As ready as I will ever be...right?" I nervously answered.

He extended his hand to me. "Dance with me, baby."

It was a request, not a demand, but he knew I would never deny him. A swift nod, as I placed my hand in his, and we gently walked over the candles. We took our places, he reached into his pocket for the small remote to turn the music on before returning it to his pocket. Our frames locked, our eyes met. It was now or never, and then I heard it.

The familiar strains of music; the man's voice floating through the air, and I looked at him in complete panic. My body went rigid, my heart was in too much distress to even look at him.

_No babe, not this song...please. Any other song but this._

Paul pulled my face up to his. He gently brushed his lips against mine.

"If you're not ready, baby. It's okay we can do this another time."

The hurt was so evident in his voice. He thought he failed me, I could feel it in the way he held his body.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he reached into his pocket for the remote.

I couldn't let him think he did something wrong. In truth this was the perfect song for this moment. Her memory with me, reminding me why I loved dance. His body pressed against mine as I danced with the love of my life, after a romantic dinner on a very important date.

"NO," I grabbed his wrist. "No, babe I'll...I'll dance with you."

He gave me the _are you sure_ look, so I just nodded and put my body back in position. He reached into his pocket; I was afraid he didn't believe I could do it, but he just started the song over and quickly pocketed the remote.

I fretted momentarily but ignored it, choosing to focus on my sweet man in my arms. We began to move through the steps slowly. I could not bring myself to look at him just yet, but I could feel his eyes on me. They filled me with so much love, even if I could not see them.

His thumb began to gently rub circles where he held me at my upper back. My boyfriend brought his arm towards the center of my back effectively bringing me closer to his body. His lips at my ear whispered words of love and encouragement, always reminding me he was here for me.

Heaven. I'm in Heaven.  
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;  
And I seem to find the happiness I seek  
When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek.

_I'm dancing_

There was no way I could continue to not look at him. He called me amazing, but he was the amazing one. He had me dancing again, to her song no less. My face turned to his, and I found him with a look of pure bliss and pride on his face.

"You're dancing, baby. Just like you were always meant to. My sweet angel on the floor."

His lips brushed mine as he spoke sending a shiver down my spine. I felt that pulse that was always present whenever we were in each other's arms.

_I missed this. I missed us._

Dance with me  
I want my arm about you;  
The charm about you  
Will carry me thro' to Heaven

_Yes he was quite charming...lucky me._

When the song came to an end we had danced a complete foxtrot, and my heart felt lighter than it had in months. I knew he was proud of me, I knew my Nanna was proud of me, but most important, I was proud of myself.

His arms were instantly holding me tighter, hugging me to his body with so much emotion. I felt everything he was trying to convey in his embrace. His pride, his love, his devotion, his sorrow, his relief.

"You did it baby. I am so proud of you," he stated breathlessly against the side of my face. His kisses rained down on my cheeks, nose, forehead and ears before he stopped and looked at me.

"God, Em I love you so much."

Once again he brushed his lips against mine, but this time I deepened the kiss. Weaving my fingers into the back of his hair I pressed my mouth hard against his. My tongue peeked out to lick along the part of his lips, desperately needing for him to open them and let me taste him. Paul didn't keep me waiting for long, opening up and inviting my tongue into his mouth.

Our simultaneous moans only spurred us on further as we let the passion take over again. It had been to long since we just kissed and held on to one another; showing each other just how much we loved the man in our arms. His embrace grew more tight before he slid his hands down to my ass squeezing gently, causing me to groan into his kiss and grip his hair a little harder. We broke apart, both gasping for air.

"Babe," I began trying to catch my breath.

His eyes sparkled as he took in my swollen lips, and tented jeans. Paul's famous smirk then made an it's appearance on his face again, making my erection twinge at the sight of it. I needed to get my words out before I tackled the man.

"Thank you, so much. You have no idea. No idea what you just did for me."

"First off I should be thanking you, that kiss was incredible, and I think I know exactly what I just did for you."

He smirked again gesturing towards my hard-on. It twitched again like it knew he was talking about it causing the both of us to laugh.

"You know what I mean. Thank you for everything; being here for me when I needed you most, this entire time. When she died, you showed up when I kept falling into a pit of despair. At her graveside, when my brother was being particularly hurtful; you stood up for me when I could not even physically stand. You've put up with my shit during this entire grieving process. You've done it without complaint, only love, and now this."

My hand waved around the room.

"Thank you for helping me find my way back to one of the most important parts of myself. Dance is so important to me; so much of who I am. She gave this passion to me, and you knew that. You knew I would never be complete until I danced, and you knew how to help me."

I paused to look him dead in the eyes, he needed to know I was not placating him, or lying to him.

"Babe, you have to know that you were the only one that could make me dance. True it is a passion of mine and not dancing felt like I was denying a part of myself, but that isn't even the worst I have done. During my self-imposed displacement from my life I also neglected the one true passion that defines me...you."

Paul's eyes lit up in astonishment.

"Yes, you. You, Paul Uley, are my one true passion. I may love dance, but I love you more. I may be able to live without dance, but I would never EVER be able to live without you. Love is the most important emotion of all, my Nanna taught me that. She also taught me that true love is most definitely a gem. '_Hold onto that Pauly boy' _she said. '_He is a good boy, he loves you and will always be there for you. Treat him well my Baby bear, be the gentleman I raised.' _She was right, she was always right. I'm so sorry I let my grief drive a wedge between us."

The tears welled in his eyes unshed, he didn't want to cry. I knew he was trying to put on the brave face for me. His fingers made their way to my mouth as he traced my lips, it was as if he couldn't believe the words I said.

"Baby," his voice hoarse from the emotion he was holding back. "No sorrys. None needed ... you ...just ... you were... just please know that."

His thoughts were jumbled and he could not get the words out in the order he wanted but I heard everything he could not say in those few disjointed words. Finally it was too much for him and one tear coursed down his cheek before I caught it with my fingers. He smiled and changed tack quickly putting on a jive.

"Dance with me."

_How could I say no?_

We danced a few more; I knew my Nanna would be so proud. When Paul put a tango on, I raised my brow in question and he bit his lip. For most dances I let him lead since he was taught to lead and found it more comfortable, it suited his personality well. I, being an instructor was able to both lead and follow, so it was never a problem. But whenever we tangoed, he always wanted me to lead. It turned him on something fierce.

I led him around the floor and by the time we hit the closed promenade we were both panting for each other. We stopped mid dance, his eyes on fire as they scorched a path up my body landing on my lips. His leaned in and his tongue thrust into my mouth insistently. There was no gentle licks or kisses, and no denying how worked up he was.

My arms slid further across his back enveloping him, and bringing his body tight against mine. Soon enough we were groaning and grinding our hard cocks against each other. He broke the kiss, I felt his warm breath fan my cheek, and his lips set to seek out my ear. Gently my lobe was sucked between his lips, and he bit down slightly causing me to moan so loud it echoed throughout the empty studio.

"Baby," he breathed. "Take me home and make love to me. Take me home now, please"

My mouth razed a path down the column of his neck sucking and biting along the way. There was no way we were going to get by with a hand job, or blow job tonight. Tonight my man was getting my full undivided attention.

"Mmmmm," he moaned out.

Yes, babe it's all for you. I wanted to get him home as fast as possible, knowing that his erection was probably just as painful as mine at them moment, but I had to wonder about the cleanup. He knew me to well.

"Don't worry, Em I've got it covered." I bit a little harder along his jaw causing him to gasp out his next words. "Jared...Seth," he practically mewled.

_Still got it._

I kissed his lips one more time before he made the call to the guys, and we were out of there. Headed home, together. I was almost whole again. I knew the moment Paul held me tight as I sunk deep within his warmth, our eyes locked in a heated gaze that he will have fixed me. His love made me whole. Our love was our passion in life.

_Thank you Nanna for teaching me to dance, but most of all for teaching me to love. _

I missed her, but I knew she was watching over me. With amazing friends, and the most sexy man in my arms, I knew I would be just fine.


End file.
